Have you ever met that one person who is able to not only make you smile but who you also want to grab by the neck each time they look at you? Well welcome to my world. It seems today that no one can ever just be nice. What ever happened to “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all?” I seem to have also missed the memo that it is okay to completely ignore someone only to draw them in with sweet words and gestures the next day. Am I the only one who feels this way?
This blog is probably going to just end up being a ranting moment for me and a hope that someone out there reading this, understands and can relate to it. And to all of you currently reading this, yes, it IS about a guy again so if you aren’t interested, don’t read it.



To continue this for anyone who may still be reading, As you know I don’t reveal the names of the particular person I speak of however, most of you who know me usually can guess who I am speaking of. Although no one outside of my current “hangout” crew would know, my most recent relationship went to hell. Not necessarily in a bad way but in a way that angers me from time to time.
This guy was definitely out of my comfort zone FOR SURE. I won’t tell you why simply because you’ll easily guess if I say (and I like making you guys think.) Anyway, he seemed sweet, kind hearted, headstrong, and everything every girl looks for in a guy pretty much. We got along really well. We laughed, joked, and even made fun of one another. It was nearly the ideal relationship every teenager wants. A guy who can make you smile at your saddest moments, someone who can make you feel safe at your most insecure times. Someone who you can make fun of and be mean to but at the end of the day you both know you love each other. It was EXACTLY like that. What could have POSSIBLY gone wrong? We barely argued and when we did nearly 20 minutes later it was back to laughing. Well, it turns out that quote everyone says, “Too good to be true” is EXTREMELY true.
After a while we kind of grew distant. I put my walls up in fear of saying too much and he got irritated at that. All of you remember the post before this, about the guy who changed my life for the worst? Well, as you know in that relationship I didn’t care what he did or who he was with out of trust/ He ended up cheating because he felt like I didn’t care. So naturally, whatever didn’t work the first time around, you do the opposite next time hoping things would be better. Well that didn’t work for me. I apparently cared TOO much this time. Ironic right? Just my luck.. He went ballistic after I gave ONLY MY OPINION on what he planned to do that weekend. IT WAS JUST AN OPINION GUYS!! We went from a great relationship to done in 24 hours. All his choice which, hey, if it makes him happy, let em’ right?
After we broke up we went days without speaking. I still saw him everyday which of course, was difficult. Well finally I put my foot down. I needed an explaination of what he was thinking cause I was contantly getting mixed messages. We were on the phone for 4 hours straight. And he admitted to lying about EVERYTHING he told me at the start of our relationship, but apparently it’s okay because by the end he felt it... is it just me or is that NOT okay? Lying is NEVER okay whether or not you really meant it WEEKS after. Of course, I got mad. Three things I hate MOST in a relationship are liars, cheaters, and people who make me look like an idiot. I can’t handle it. He did 2 of the 3. I was pissed.
Lets skip about a week and half to today shall we? I found out some health problems I have and he was one person I told. He seemed concerned, wanting to know what happened and every current news I found out. Well for the last 3 days we haven’t spoken. So I am to the point where maybe we shouldn’t speak anymore, besides it’s unfair to drag someone in these problems anyway, right? So I gave myself closure and admitted to myself finally that you just cannot trust anyone. I let it and him go. Then this morning after not speaking and after not having any gestures made towards one another he climbs on our bus and looks me in my eyes and runs his hand down my arm..... NO. DON’T SIT HERE AND MAKE A KIND GESTURE TO ME KNOWING I NEED IT AFTER NOT SPEAKING TO ME FOR THREE DAYS! JUST, NO!
I know, I know, it was nothing quit over reacting.. if you guys only knew the stress and anger I have towards this guy right now you would understand.. You either talk to someone or you don;t there is NO in between . Sorry . Is it just me or do you guys agree? You can’t go days not speaking to someone making them think you want nothing to do with them only to turn around and make kind gestures. Its almost like you are luring in your victim only to slap them in the face.
Now, I am in a controversy.  Do I ignore him and just let everything go and continue on not speaking to him or should I take the gesture as an indication that he wants to speak to me? I don’t even know... but that is how I feel and I hope maybe one of you readers can relate and it helped you in some way. If it didn’t I apologize but I feel much better.